The First One
by wyntter rose
Summary: There's an attack and Ron is killed leaving Hermione alone. She needs comfort, and Ginny sets out to find her some.
1. The First One

"Alright so let's see. Carry the four equals nine carry the six and then ---" a groan was elicited out of Hermione Granger's throat when she heard someone knocking on her door. She was so close to figuring out the answer to the problem. They could wait.

She turned back to the parchment she had been writing on and continued to solve out the problem. "That's seven carry the four then all of that needs to be divided by that which means ---" The quill that she had been holding between her thumb and forefinger snapped as she was one again brought out of her study by a pounding on the door.

She stood up, grumbling about how disrespectful people were by not calling before showing up on her doorstep, and made her way to the front door of her single bedroom flat.

She twisted the doorknob and opened the door quickly, her mouth opening as she prepared to berate whoever was standing at her door, pounding hard enough to shake the walls, at this time of night. As her eyes adjusted to the dark outside, her eyes and mouth opened wider in horror. Her boyfriend was standing on her doorstep, his usually pale skin was a sickly, grayish color and his usually bright and full of life blue eyes were lifeless.

She reached out a hand to touch him, to prove to herself that this was all a trick, when she noticed the growing spot on the front of his shirt. "Ron?" she asked tentatively. Her voice was naught but a whisper as she looked on. The stain continued to grow, and in doing so it began forming words across the redhead's chest which looked as though they belonged on a Halloween decoration.

centerYOU'RE NEXT, MUDBLOOD FILTH/center

She managed to wrap her arms around the lifeless corpse of her boyfriend and pull him inside, the blood from the front of his shirt seeping through her own until they were both covered in the sticky red liquid. She wanted to scream, to cry, to run out and kill whoever had done this to her poor, innocent boyfriend. The only thing she could manage to do, however, was keep the bile that had begun rising in her throat at bay before passing out on the spot, her head falling onto his chest as if they had simply fallen asleep like that.

center--------------------/center

By the time Hermione woke up, she was not the only living person in her apartment. Nor was the body of her now former boyfriend laying in the hall by the front door. The curly haired brunette had been moved by unknown forces so that she was now laying on her bed covered by various blankets in an effort to dispel the cold air permeating the small space. Despite having at least three large, down comforters covering her small body, the cold was still piercing through her, numbing her.

It was around that time that she heard the voices. They were whispered so she couldn't make out much of what was being said, but she knew they were there. She lifted the heavy blankets from her body and stood on shaky legs. She had no idea how long she had been laying there, but she knew that it wasn't nearly long enough.

She didn't bother looking in the mirror that leaned against the far wall. She knew what it would show her. So rather than looking at the horror of her current appearance, she began making her way towards the voices down the hall.

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"How are we supposed to tell her that the love of her life was murdered? We don't even know who did it. You know that if we tell her that she will go out of her way to go looking for those damn people and she may never return. I won't let us risk that."

"She already knows that he's dead. It's just a matter of how or why that she might not be aware of yet."

"You think she knows?"

"She was passed out on his corpse, mum. Of course she knows."

"Well yes but maybe ---"

"Maybe what, Molly? Maybe she hit her head and can't remember? She remembers. One look at her and you can tell that much."

"But maybe ---"

"Maybe what, Mrs. Weasley?" a tired voice came from the archway leading into the kitchenette and four separate hearts broke at the sight of her. Her hair, always so frizzy and sprightly, lay flat and matted against her head. Her bright chocolate eyes that had always been so filled with curiosity and wonder, not to mention always filled with love for her friends, stared back at them with apathy.

"Hermione," the young redhead who spoke kept her voice at a soothing level that caused the brunette to look at her with disdain that she knew the girl didn't deserve.

"I am not a child, Ginny Weasley. I will not be spoken to as if I am merely a child who has lost their puppy."

It hadn't yet occurred to the girl that everyone else in room was feeling the loss of the young man who had been floating on her doorstep. Granted none of them were feeling the loss of what she considered to be part of her soul, but they were feeling a mother's loss of her child; a sister's loss of her brother; the loss of a best friend; and the loss of a student who had become a friend after the many years they had known one another.

She took a deep breath and turned to look at her best friends, "how long was I out of it?"

The only male figure in the house at that point turned to her gently and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Two days." At the sight of the blanched look on her face, he shook his head. "We figured it was probably because you hadn't been getting much sleep since you were so busy working lately. Then the shock of ---" he couldn't bring himself to finish the statement so she didn't force him. She just nodded so he would know that she understood.

"We are sorry, Hermione. That you had to find out the way that you did." The eldest woman came over from where she was standing against the counter and made her presence known. "If we had known that they were going to go after Mr. Weasley we would have had more people watching over him."

Hermione shook her head. She didn't want anybody in the room at the moment to feel bad about what had happened. It wasn't their fault, after all. None of them would have left such an awful note for her carved into the body of the man she loved. "He didn't want people following him around. He was always trying to lose the people who were tailing him; which is probably how he ended up getting caught in the first place."

It seemed that nobody had thought of that possibility, but as soon as the words had left her mouth they realized how true they were. Ronald Weasley had hated that he had to be tailed by Aurors when he himself was trying to become one. He had been nearly finished with his training, along with their best friend Harry Potter, and he was set to graduate the program over the summer.

"We won't be able to keep it a secret for very long."

It amazed the girl how nobody around her was crying over the fact that such a wonderful boy had lost his life, she included. She figured that they, like she, were still in shock over the whole situation that it hadn't yet occurred to them what this would mean. "I want to see him."

The four around her all looked back and forth between one another as they tried to figure out what to say. After an extremely pregnant pause, Ginny spoke up. "I'll go with you."

They decided to leave that afternoon when the sun would be high in the sky. They were wary about stepping out in public because of the attack but they knew that there was no other way to go about it. He had been taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and was being held there until they set up the funeral for him. They had also decided that he would like to be buried at the school. Other than the Burrow, it was the only place that they could all call home.

It wasn't until they had come back to Hermione's flat hours later that it slowly started sinking in that he was gone. Yet still, the tears eluded the brunette. Instead she held his sister as she let the tears roll down her cheeks, needing comfort that nobody could give. Losing a boyfriend was far different front losing a brother. Ron and Ginny had had a type of bond that was not easily broken no matter how stubborn they both were.

Hermione held her friend until the wee hours of the night, long after the girl had fallen asleep with tear streaks running down her cheeks. She had simply sat in the overstuffed elephant chair looking out the window towards the moon and wondered why the tears wouldn't come to her eyes. She had never felt more broken, and yet she wasn't able to cry. She tried not to think about the idea that that would mean she didn't love him as much as she thought she did. She knew this wasn't the case.

The tears would come. In their own time, they would come.

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bA/N: Hey guys thanks so much for reading this story. I'm not a huge fan of Ron (at all) but I tried to make him sound like a great guy for all of those people who do like him. My story doesn't have a beta, so if you find any mistakes let me know and I will try and fix them for you.

Please review and let me know what you guys think. If you're going to sit there and tell me what an awful writer I am, though, at least tell me why you think that so I can do what I can to become better.

xoxo LadyMalfoy/b


	2. I Can't Sleep, It's Hard to Breathe

It had been a month since that fateful day on her front porch. A month of holding her friends while they broke down and cried their hearts out. A month of not being allowed to leave her flat unless she had a member of the Order with her. A month in which she had almost forgotten what it was like to be alone for more than five minutes.

True to his word, Harry wasn't going to let her risk her life by trying to find out who specifically had done the atrocious act. The members of the Order would switch shifts with each other, but never in a specific order. They would eat with her; "relax" with her; watch her while she slept. She felt as if she were in prison simply for witnessing a tragic event. It felt almost as if she were in Azkaban.

"At least they have their privacy for the most part," she mumbled to herself. The only time that she was alone was when she was using the restroom. Even then, though, someone was standing right outside the door.

She tried to remember which Order members she had seen since it happened so that she might be able to try and guess who was going to be coming next. She'd had Harry, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, Minerva, Harry, Moody, Ginny, Remus, Harry, Neville and Luna, and she was at the moment stuck once again with Harry. Maybe Tonks would be next, she would willingly take anybody other than Harry.

She loved the messy-haired, green-eyed boy like a brother, but his "constant vigilance", as Moody called it, was beginning to get on her nerves. He wasn't like the others who would stay for maybe a day and a half max. Harry stayed on for three, sometimes four days at a time. She knew that after losing Ron the thought of losing his only other best friend was enough to drive him to tears – she'd already come into contact with those – but he was getting less sleep than she was. And the only time _she_ ever slept was when they forced dreamless drought down her throat.

She had been in such a state of shock the first few days that nothing fully registered, but after that the nightmares had come. She never woke up crying, but she would wake up in a cold sweat, trembling, and her heart would be racing. She would be jumpy and irritable the next day, scared that her dream was going to come true. That was why they had begun giving her the dreamless drought. There were only ever two dreams that she had anymore. And neither of them was very pleasant. The most prevalent one being the most recent one she'd had.

_---_

"_Ron, how can you possibly stuff all of that into your mouth at once? And how does your stomach stand it? You should be a balloon by now what with the way you eat." One look at the smile on Hermione's face and one could tell how much she loved the boy that was sitting cross-legged in front of her, eating his own weight in desserts._

"_Aw come on, Mione. You know that I have a fast metabolism, and what with this bloody Auror training keeping me busy I don't have time to keep the weight on, let alone gain more of it." The redhead continued to sit there scarfing down the food that sat on the picnic basket. He grinned goofily at his girlfriend and then shook his head. "Besides, it's not me you should be worried about. Have you eaten anything since we've been here?"_

_Hermione knew that Ron was so used to how his mother was that he sometimes compared the two women together. _

_Molly Weasley was not a small woman by any means. She had given birth to seven children not to mention she had to feed all of those hungry mouths plus the mouths of any other straggler that came to the Burrow for dinner. She was a stay-at-home mother and a housewife who had spent most of her life at home, doing chores around the house and cooking for her family. By the time it got around to dinner time Molly had been working so hard all day that she ate enough to keep up with any of her children._

_Hermione, on the other hand, had lost weight since they had been out of school. Most of the time she was so busy working on a problem that she forgot to eat and when she did remember that she had to eat, she wasn't terribly hungry. It was frustrating working for the Ministry in a dead-end job that she hated. But nobody else wanted the job, and she hated jobs being left unfilled. _

_She picked up a grape out of the basket and popped it into her mouth with a bit of a smirk on her face and saw that while Ron looked at least somewhat happier with that it wasn't enough. He scooted closer to her on the blanket and pulled a sandwich out of the basket handing it to her. "Eat it," he said playfully to her, but there was something serious in his voice. _

_Doing as he asked, she picked up the sandwich and took a bite. She hadn't looked to see what it was so she was pleasantly surprised when it ended up being an egg salad sandwich. Egg salad was her favorite. She finished off the sandwich in record time and then smiled triumphantly at her boyfriend. "What now, Mr. Bossy Pants?"_

_He growled playfully and tackled her, sending them both rolling off of the blanket and into the grass with his hands working to tickle her mercilessly until she cried out for him to stop. Her face was red and there were tears falling down her cheeks from laughing so hard. By the time he let off on the tickling she was panting, her chest rising and falling against his own._

_He looked down at her and their eyes met, his blue eyes boring deep into hers. "Hermione, will you marr---" _

_He didn't get to finish his statement because at that moment there was yelling coming from Hermione's left and just as she tried to look past Ron to see what was going on, she saw a flash of green and then felt his body slump against hers. She knew he was dead. She tried to push him off of her, tried to reach for her wand so she could curse whoever killed him, but he was too heavy. She couldn't get to her wand and she couldn't run away. All she could do was sit there as someone leaned down and whispered "you're next," in her ear before they disapparated and she woke up._

_---_

Her brown eyes met Harry's green eyes and she frowned. "Harry, you need to get some sleep. Go home to Ginny." He shook his head, running his hands through his hair and trying to ignore the growth of hair on his chin. He had yet to show or to shave, having only used a simple cleaning spell on himself. But a spell was never the same as the real thing.

"I can't leave you."

Hermione slammed her hands down on the chair and growled at him. "Harry James Potter, you leave my house right this minute and I swear to you if you send anybody else here to watch over me I am going to personally use Ginny's favorite hex on you so many times you won't know what hit you. Get out. Go home. I won't go after them."

His eyes had widened when she'd begun yelling at him and for a millisecond he almost looked fearful of the woman. When she was finally finished yelling at him, and was looking at him rather decidedly he stood up from the table. He could almost see the smoke coming out of her nostrils. "I'll be back to check on you in a few days." He gave her a quick nod and then hurried out the front door.

When she heard the front door shut quietly she picked up her wand and warded the apartment before sitting down and sighing, her head falling onto the table. She sincerely hoped that she hadn't pushed Harry away, but she couldn't take his babying of her anymore.

She glanced over towards the clock that hung on the wall. Molly had given it to her as a present but she had only just put it up on the wall. There was a dial on there for herself, Ron, Harry, Ginny, Neville, and Luna. In order for her to put anyone else on the clock she would have to get a piece of their hair to transfigure, but it wouldn't be hard. As she looked at the small picture of Ron, she felt her heart clench. She missed him more than she'd ever missed anyone before.

But she was still waiting on those tears.

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**A/N: Hola everyone! Thanks to those of you who reviewed, it really means a lot to me. Also, I noticed that someone wanted to know what an elephant chair was. I hadn't realized that I put that there, otherwise I wouldn't have since I doubt that is what they are called. At the store Big Lots, my aunt and I found a few arm chairs that are big enough for two people to sit side by side comfortably, and since they are so big we just call them elephant chairs. Hope that clears things up.**

**xoxo**


	3. I Think About It Every Single Day

As always: This has been checked on a spell checker, but it has not been beta'd. So I'm sorry if something is spelled wrong or doesn't make any sense.

Warning: This chapter contains bits of language that might not be suitable to persons aged thirteen and younger. Read at your own risk.

**Chapter Three:  
I Think About It Every Single Day**

Severus Snape paced in front of the fireplace in his private quarters, wearing a hole in the carpet as he walked the same line over and over again. There was far too much going on in the wizarding world that was required of him; and it was driving him bloody mad. He didn't even honestly wish to do any of it.

After everything he had done for the ungrateful beings that inhabited his world, they still expected him to stand around and clean up their mess. The mess that they themselves had caused by not protecting themselves and killing Tom Riddle when they had the chance. He would help them, of course, but he wouldn't be happy about it. In fact, he would only be doing it for _them_.

The Golden Trio

The man who had come to be known as the bat of the dungeons had made a promise to protect Harry Potter, famed leader of the Golden Trio, anytime and in any way that he could. For Lily's sake.

He hadn't known it at the time, but it was now obvious that by promising to protect the son of the woman he loved, he had inadvertently promised to protect the people closest to the boy also. There were far too many people that this entailed, so he had made it his life's work (since the children first came to Hogwarts) to protect the famed trio. The three most important students to ever pass through the halls of Hogwarts.

Harry Potter, the boy who just wouldn't die, was at least not quite as bad as his father had been, much as it pained Severus to admit. He had a kind heart towards almost everyone, as long as they didn't prove to him that they didn't deserve it. He was strong and smart, though not nearly as smart as his best friend. He was also quick, though of course Quidditch had helped him with that. Even when others chose to pick on him, he didn't usually fight back – and he almost never started the arguments. Quite unlike his other best friend.

Ron Weasley was the other male figure in the trio. He had just recently made the papers about his tragic death at the hands of an unknown masked killer. Of course, by that description alone people would assume (correctly) that it was a Death Eater that had murdered the boy. Severus knew the back story as to why he had been murdered and them posted outside of the witch's home. He had planned that part of it. He didn't wish to reflect on that now, though.

The last member of the Golden Trio, the only female of the group, and the only person who could irritate Severus as much, if not more, than Lily Evans-Potter had been able to do, was Hermione Granger. With her knowledge on almost every subject you talked to her about, and her opinionated ways, she was easily the most infuriating person he knew. But despite that he also knew that she had a heart of gold. He could tell that just by watching her with the dunderhead, Neville Longbottom. She always made it a point to help out those who she could. Even those who needed the help but didn't wish to ask for it.

It wasn't until someone had brought it to his attention that he was going to need to do double duty more so now than ever to try and figure out who had murdered the girl's boyfriend that he realized how much he had hurt her. He hadn't thought about it at the time. Not until now.

They were torturing the redhead, hearing him screaming to either let him free or to end the pain. But they did neither. Not at first. They had been trying to get information out of the boy who had been walking out of a jewelry shop in London before they caught him and brought him back to their "lair." He was strong, and he didn't give up any information on anything the Order of the Phoenix was up to. The last thing they had asked him was where "the mudblood bitch" lives. He wouldn't give that up either.

Severus wouldn't have admitted it on the promise of death, but he was proud of the boy. He was proud that he wouldn't spill any information about his friends. When they finally gave up asking him about the information, they killed him. Then they carved the words, with a renewing spell, into his abdomen and left him in the middle of London. Thankfully no one was around.

When all the other Death Eaters had left, Severus picked up the boy and apparated him to Hermione's front door, figuring she would rather be the first to see him than all of London. It wouldn't have gone over well if she had found out about it from a newspaper clipping written by Rita Skeeter.

But now, Minerva and Molly were both up his ass telling him that he needed to fix it. How the hell was he supposed to fix something that had already happened? He was not going to use a time turner, the effect would be much worse. No. They didn't want him to fix it by finding a new place to put Ron's body seeing as he was already buried. No. They wanted him to find a way to calm Hermione down. To get her happier since it was "his people" that had caused this wear and tear of her emotions.

He had growled at them, told them there was no point, but they hadn't listened. He had tried to reason with them, tell them that she wouldn't trust him even if he could find a way to help her out. But again they hadn't listened. He had fought them long and hard, told them that it was useless. The Dark Lord would have that much easier a time in finding her if he were to start hanging around her more often.

And they still hadn't listened.

They had fought hard against him too, telling him that he need not worry about the Dark Lord because if they had sent Ron's body to her house then he must already know where she lives. They had told him that there was nobody else who could make her feel better the same way he could, that he was unique in that way. When asked just what they meant by unique way of making her feel better, they had happily responded that he wouldn't take her emotional bullshit. He would challenge her mentally (and possibly physically) and he wouldn't let her fall down into a puddle of tears at every turn.

Little did they know that the tears still hadn't come.

**A/N: You guys are amazing. 'nough said. Seriously though, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out to you. There has been a lot going on this week and last week that it taking up a lot of my time. In other news:**

**2angelwings:**** I finally brought in Snape. I hope I'm sticking with a bit of the same dark tone that you liked before. Sorry if I'm not, I'll try and be better. lol  
****notwritten:**** thanks. For sending that exact same message to both of my stories.  
****RedsAttic and jessirose85****: Thanks so much guys.**

**It really means a lot to me when you guys review. Lets me know I'm doing something right.**

**xoxo.**


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